Pluto, we barely knew ye
It’s official: Pluto is no longer a planet. After 76 years as an imposter, experts have put an end to Pluto’s attempts to “take the magic out of the solar system” and have reclassified it as a “dwarf” planet. You see, Pluto’s not big enough to be a planet, and its orbit doesn’t follow the official rules for planets.
I’m a bit worried. When one of those chunks of rock and ice decides to become a martyr and crash into Earth on a suicide mission, we’ll regret the policies that led them to feel marginalized like this. Oh well, if we get into a War on Interplanetary Terrorism it’s nice to know we have a “War President” ready, willing and able to do the needful.
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 24th, 2006 at 9:45 am. You can subscribe to comments on this post through its RSS feed.
on August 24, 2006 at 10:51 am Dave Fourputt wrote:
As long as Uranus is classifed as a planet then all as well.
I remember my buddies and I in me thinks, 5th grade just laughing like hell and making jokes about that planet’s name and how is sounded so “naughty”.
Hmmmm, now my buddies and I tell jokes just as childish on the golf course!
on August 24, 2006 at 11:09 am Doug wrote:
Glad to hear I’m not the only one.
Hey, have you noticed how newscasters pronounce Uranus and harrass differently today than they did back when we were kids? I learned them as yur-ANUS and hair-ASS, but now they all say YUR-ennus and HAIR-ess. I smell a conspiracy.
on August 25, 2006 at 7:43 am Scott wrote:
I’m not giving up on Pluto. I needs my Pluto!
on August 26, 2006 at 12:57 pm Megan wrote:
I don’t see how uriness is much better than yuranus, frankly.