Number twos

When summer begins to fade, it’s number two season …

Hamed Juma Faris al-Suaidi, “Al Qaeda’s No. 2 operative in Iraq,” was captured last month, delivering a “severe blow” to al Qaeda in Iraq.

This is an annual tradition, going after the number two man in September. Last year, September saw headlines reading “Iraq’s al-Qaeda number two killed” after the death of Abu Azzam.

And it’s not just Iraq. We can get the number two guys wherever they work. For example, we got the number two in Yemen, Abu Asim Al-Maki.

It’s not just our propaganda that needs airing, of course. The number twos know how to fire back, and do. Last spring, on the day after our wedding, “Al Qaeda number two” Ayman al-Zawahiri released a video. A few months later, he released another one, questioning our President’s track record. Pesky number two!

Of course, with so many number twos to be found there’s bound to be a bit of mistaken identity from time to time.

Ironically, we’ve dispatched all those number twos in the country where we have the most American troops fighting (140,000), while we’ve not found the number one in the country where we have the second-most troops fighting (20,000).

Now, who could have predicted that?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 at 8:09 pm. You can subscribe to comments on this post through its RSS feed.

3 comments posted:

  1. Of course, if we capture, say, ten Number Twos, that’s twice as many as ten Number Ones. God, think what we could do with a Guantanamo full of Number Fours.

    Or …

    perhaps this is a larger war on middle management. Once this war is over, this technology will be declassified and Number Twos throughout corporate America will have to fish or cut bait. Like when Al Gore declassified the Internet and we all got to see porn without having to ask a clerk for it (again, taking out a superfluous and sometimes awkward level of human interaction).

    Or perhaps I’ve said too much.

  2. Call me a pessimist, but I’m doubtful that we’ve got many Number Fours down there. Or terrorists, for that matter.

  3. That’s an amazing article from the Washington Post! I forwarded it to a bunch of friends.

    George

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