Turning 50
Hard to believe, really. A bunch of my friends have turned 50, and now I have too. In the last hour, actually: I was born in the evening, if I remember the story right, during uncle Irv’s 25th birthday party. (I’d check with my Mom, but she’s galavanting about in Turkey right now, as I’ll explain in my next post.)
The “years that end in 0 are more important” concept has never really registered with me, but wow. Half a century. That’s a lot. for example, check out the knees above: those knees have lived a long time. Doctors who said I should take better care of them have died of old age by now, I think.
To celebrate my 50th, I came home to an unbelievable dinner Megan prepared for me. And since I’m one of those middle-aged white American homeowner types now, I mowed the lawn. It’s what we do, and besides I’ve let it go for several weeks. Which makes it a good workout. I mean, even with that massive 16-inch mower, the side yard still requires three passes across the full 40 feet of it. When you add up the time it takes to get all the clippings into the yard waste container, it’s easy to kill 15 or 20 minutes mowing this lawn!
I’m a child of the Space Age, and so I noticed a few weeks ago when Vanguard 1 turned 50 years old. Now me. Prince comes just a month after me as usual (June 7), then Madonna and Michael Jackson in August. The cool guys turn 50 in the spring, as Prince and I like to say. And Jeff — he said it first. Scott and Caroline Kennedy, on the other hand, they think December’s the month.
Thank God I’m not a virgin. Although I am in a screw-the-internet mood this evening, and not handling any email on principle. Must be the scotch. Cheers.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 at 7:30 pm. You can subscribe to comments on this post through its RSS feed.
on May 7, 2008 at 8:17 pm Tom wrote:
Don’t want to brag, but I’ve got the Scott’s 20″ mower. Just assembled it this afternoon and mowed our yard. Man, all the power mower people were so sure I’d be miserable, but that was fantastic. Quiet enough that I really could do it at 10:00 at night, certainly no harder to push than a big heavy power mower, and ONLY smells like grass (no gasoline). I’m totally convinced. Honestly, I know it’ll pass (particularly as it gets hotter out), but for now I’m a little sad I can’t mow every day. It’s a nice bracing way to burn 20 calories (you’ve seen our yard — doesn’t take a lot of work, particularly as half of it is dead). We’re having some guys come out to aerate, fertilize, and seed, and then hopefully things will pick up a bit.
Happy Birthday, Doug’s Knees. When I was but a wee lad, those knees put the fear of God into me. Now my knees are failing despite Doug’s Knees’ efforts to teach by dire example. If only I’d listened … they certainly made enough noise.
on May 8, 2008 at 3:15 am AUNT MARSHA wrote:
That kind of mower works in Seattle, I suppose… Especially for those who have those little Fisher-Price yards. Surprised the machine wasn’t red, blue and yellow. I have such respect for you.
I clocked 4 hrs in my back yard yesterday (had to break down and hire someone for the front) using high power, a turbo fan blowing, an ice pack strapped to my head and still was gasping for breath every 12 minutes. The smell of gasoline is like a whiff of angel’s breath down south. Grass grows so fast here, that by the time you finish the back 40, the front 40 is ready to be mowed again–you could just go round and round, over and over. Mindless and numb, the bugs giving you malaria - like dreams.
Dear Lord, Doug! Last week, Gran asked me how old you were and I told her 46! Where did I get that math?
Huh…glasses, turning 50…what’s next–a hip replacement? AARP membership? ( I joined…sigh, sigh)
Got your present in the mail yesterday.
much love, dear one,
the aunt
on May 8, 2008 at 7:21 am Scott wrote:
50. How the hell did this happen?
on May 8, 2008 at 8:40 am Doug wrote:
I have no idea, Scott. One day we were too young to care, then suddenly we’re too old to care.
Marsha, please continue telling people I’m 46. I don’t mind. And what a great line: “The smell of gasoline is like a whiff of angel’s breath down south.” You should start a novel with that line or something.
Tom, I was tempted by the 20-inch, but wasn’t sure I could find room for it in the shed.
on May 8, 2008 at 11:13 am Scott wrote:
We must not have been close enough attention. I can’t help but feel this could have been avoided.
on May 8, 2008 at 9:47 pm orcmid wrote:
I swear I posted a comment and saw it appear here. Must be the silly season of May.
Happy Birthday! Again. Still.
on May 9, 2008 at 6:32 am Doug wrote:
Thanks, Orcmid. Did you post from a different computer the other time? If so, I might have deleted it when checking the moderation queue. Your comment above appeared without any need for moderation, so that IP address is “approved,” but I had several days of comment spam in the queue yesterday. When it builds up like that, I scroll through looking for anything that isn’t spam, which is sort of like rubbing your nose in junk mail for a while, and I know I’ve missed some wheat in the chaff at times.
on May 10, 2008 at 3:45 am AUNT MARSHA wrote:
As always, I see everything pertaining to me personally. If you are as handsome, active, undauntingly verile and alluring as you are at 50, then SURELY there must be some small modicum of hope for me with a …tad less of all the above at 55. Yeth?
have an appt in an hour for more false teeth, btw.
Say, is that something that should be disclosed in the initial stages of any new relationship that may go farther? Along with any prosthesis (sp?) I may be wearing?
Thinking positively, I am.
And, I daresay–some HAVE avoided it, this tedious aging thing. Something about a picture in the attic…
on May 10, 2008 at 8:02 am Lynn Bradley wrote:
50 and 55 sound young to me. My 65th is just around the corner and I’m doing ok. They say that 50 is today’s 30.
on May 10, 2008 at 5:18 pm nick wrote:
Ok so it does not burn fuel, But the question is how many beers per pass does it need??
on May 10, 2008 at 8:51 pm Doug wrote:
I’ve changed, Nick. This thing runs on red wine.
Marsha and Lynn, you two are proof that 60 is the new 30. Maybe even the new 20.
on May 11, 2008 at 6:23 am Lynn Bradley wrote:
Thanks Doug.
Keep the reassuring comments coming! I’m going to order the camera today.
on May 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm Tom wrote:
You’ve changed? Mine runs on NA beer!